Posted in General

How to help your child deal with sadness and bully

After being a parent, I realised I have to wear more than one hat. As the children get older, my hats get bigger and tougher to put on. Their needs become stronger, so do their emotions. The level of handling their needs and emotions getting higher every year just like our cost of living. Yes, it just went higher and it never come down.

Last night, my boy came home from school looking really sad. I asked him why and he told me about his incident in school.

“Teacher has instructed me to write down names of students who do not sit properly in class. I wrote a classmate’s name down and that classmate got angry, screamed at me and he said he will no longer be my friend anymore.”

  1. A tight hug and a deep breath
    I gave him a tight hug and told him to breathe in and out slowly and deeply. That calmed him down a lot.
  2. “I can cope…” “I’m okay”
    Using words to calm him down further. As much as I would like to throw him loads of advices to help him solve his problems. I stopped myself. I would rather he learns to calm down himself and think about how he can solve this problem if it happens again.
  3. React to it…bravely…
    Running away from problems won’t solve your problems. React to it and face it bravely. Of course, not the kind of brave where your child walk right up to the other person and challenged him/her. Brave in a sense that he/she will face the problem, try to solve it and not running away from it which later leads to worrying all the time.  Definitely, this part will require some help from the parents.

The 3 steps above may sound and look simple but is not easily applied. It takes time. Albeit I’m always reminding him, he doesn’t really apply the above all the time. I still do “routine” checks on my boy. But I believe in my child. I believe one fine day, he will stand up tall and straight with confident and with the ability to cope with tough times.

image1-2

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Author:

I am a busy mummy of 2 wonderful kids. Their thirst for learning has made me busy researching and making learning resources/materials for them. Most of the time will be according to the topics that they have requested. Otherwise, I will randomly pick a topic and create the materials for them. Most of the time, the materials will include right brain training as well. From them, I get to learn a lot too! However, material preparation is quite a challenge! It will even be more challenging if you are a working parent! Here, I would love to share what we have done and hope busy parents out there will find our materials useful for their little one. If you have any queries/comments or if you have any topics that you would like to cover with your little one(s), do drop me a message and I will get back to you as soon as I can :) Our mission is to find, discover and reveal the fun of kids learning! Drop us a message if you are interested in any of our materials. Let's make learning fun!

15 thoughts on “How to help your child deal with sadness and bully

  1. I wonder why did the teacher put him in such position? Nevertheless, I agree with you. Instead of stepping in and help solve the problem for our kids, we should let them face the problem head on and learn how to come up with a solution.

    Like

    1. I suppose teacher wasn’t available at that time so monitor and the monitress are the people who have to take over and make sure the class under control. Is heartpain to see them so upset and being bullied but they have to learn somewhere, somehow.

      Like

  2. Teachers should be more tactful then to “instigate” kids to report each other. Unless the child is a prefect(ooops).

    Another teachable moment for child, how to handle bullies in school (and next time in society).

    cheers, Andy
    (SengkangBabies.com)

    Like

    1. Last time in my class, we did the same. When teachers not available e.g. go toilet, the monitors will stand in front of the class to write names, to make sure class is in order.

      Yeah, a good way for them to get experience with different situations. At least when they grow older or stepping out to world, they won’t get so shocked. Part and parcel of growing up.

      Like

  3. Not easy. I agree that reacting to it bravely is a step forward. Guess this is one of the situation where they have to go through the experience and do their own growing up.

    Like

  4. It’s not easy but kudos to you for walking him through the incident and helping him to see things differently. I think such times are tough but also opportunities for them to learn and grow. Perhaps there is a way to approach his friend in future to make things up? I hope that the teacher also realizes she could have handled this differently. Big hugs to you both!

    Like

  5. I’m sure your hug and reassurance mean a lot to your son….I totally agree with what you said about the older our kids get, the more emotional needs would surface. Hopefully, he will also be surrounded by a group of good friends he can turn to in school.

    Like

  6. I do agree that the older they get, the more problems they (and hence we as parents) face. It’s good that you have a strong bond with your son and he is willing to tell you his problems. Think that’s the best we can do as a parent – to be there for them.

    Like

  7. This is also one reason I don’t look forward to have the kids grow up. I’m afraid I wouldn’t know how to deal with things like that. But hopefully we will be wiser as parents and grow with the child as they age too!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s